Are you kidding?
by Cameo45
Summary: The man rages, and I'm not entirely sure who's going to get hit first. Then Rachel Berry walks in and things go from bad to worse. An outsider gets a bird's eye view of the end . . .or the beginning.


"Are you kidding me? Woman, what did you do to my son? This is unacceptable." The man rages, and I'm not entirely sure who's going to get hit first. His wife (ex-wife?), his son, or me.

Then Rachel Berry walks in and things get worse, with her cheery, "Hi".

* * *

"I need a favor," he grumbles.

"From me?" I question as I look him up and down.

"Yes, my dad's here and he can't be, so I need a favor," he states vaguely.

"How can I help?"

"I need you to pretend. . .you know," he states and I really don't.

"Um, no, I have no idea what you're attempting to get out."

"He's kind of . . . he was. . .um, he hates gay people. . .so if he thinks we're," he tries to explain looking a little green, "if he thinks his son. . .you know?" he questions desperately.

"Oh, um," I hesitate.

"What about Rachel?"

"What about her?" he all but growls.

"Does she know what you're asking? Don't you think as your girlfriend, she might mind?"

"She's NOT my girlfriend, she's not my anything."

"Puck," I intone, because there is definitely something going on between them.

"Dude, yes or no," he demands, retreating further into himself.

* * *

"Who are you?" the man demands.

And Rachel ignores the look in his eyes, as she offers her name and her hand to the man. I, however, am not watching the train wreck that's bound to occur now that Rachel's here (girl always manages to make a bad situation _worse_) and am instead watching Puck's eyes alight as they always do when Rachel's in the room, and if his father looked at him now, the lie he's so desperately trying to sell would be even more evident. (I had a reason for asking about her).

"I'm Noah's friend," she babbles, and looking at her after this statement, really looking, I see that's she not oblivious to the danger radiating off this man, she's just trying to act normal. Trying to diffuse whatever she walked into, when all she wants is to walk back out.

"Shut up," the man growls and grabs her roughly by the upper arm pulling her towards him. Her giving a gasp of surprise. Beside me I can feel Puck vibrating with tension as it seems Ms. Berry will be the first subjected to the violence. The stakes have just been raised

"Let her go," he demands low and violent, murder in his tone. It's a reminder of why all the kids at school cower before him after just a look.

"Why couldn't you want her? Or any other girl, instead of that abomination?" the man questions savagely motioning to me. It won't be pleasant, he's a cruel man, Puck had warned me.

* * *

"He's kind of. . .me, before. . . but worse, way worse," Puck says preparing me for the meeting.

"I'm used to it, " I told him, "but are you going to be able to manage having to act like. . .?" I question.

"You're _not_, not how'll he'll dish it out. He feeds off sniffing out weakness. But I'll make sure he doesn't touch you at least," is his only response.

* * *

"Hey now, I have two gay dads and. . ." Rachel starts in before she thinks of the position she's in and the man she's talking to, she drawls off flinching before she can continue her spiel.

It's her wincing as the man tightens his hold, that clues me into the fact, there is _no way_ this is ending without violence (and our little charade being uncovered), but who'll do the dishing still remains to be seen..

"Let. Her. Go. Now," Puck bites out shooting up from his seat and stalking towards the man.

"Yeah, and who's going to make me? You. . .you little homo?" the man questions and has Rachel gasping again.

Even from his stride, I see the fury in Noah triple, not from the slur but because of Rachel. And I'm tempted to close my eyes against the coming apocalypse.

But once again Rachel steps in and surprises us all, still held firmly by Puck's. . .the man, she places her free hand on Puck's chest as soon as he's close enough, "Noah, stop," she commands and he deflates.

"But. . ."  
"No, it solves nothing."

"Rach," and it sounds almost like a sob, he's so raw and defeated.

"I know," she comforts.

"Let me go now," she whispers to the man pleading and because she's Rachel, he listens. Shocked himself, by the look on his face.

Rachel throws her arms around Puck, hugging him as though her life depended on it, then leads him back to the chair he was sitting on before. Sits him down, places herself on his lap, then turns to me and says, "You can go now, Kurt, Noah will call you later." While he burrows into her neck, like she's the only thing keeping him grounded. And she just may be, I acknowledge to myself.

"I'll. . ." I start.

"Kurt," she says with a quiet intensity that I find myself obeying, before I've thought about it.

"Let's try this again. I'm Rachel Berry, Noah's friend and you are?" I hear before the door closes behind me.

* * *

The next day, I worriedly look for Puck or Rachel. He didn't call, despite her assurance (that I knew even then was just to save face).Puck is who I see first, but I almost don't recognize him. He's shaved his Mohawk for one thing. But for another, there's a peace about him that's never been there, and when I speak to him, his eyes are clear, the cruel undertones, not just dimmed but gone.

I have his attention for less than a minute when his eyes again shine with the light that means Rachel is somewhere nearby. And he's walking off even though I'm in mid-sentence, so I follow him.

Getting into her locker, Rachel doesn't see him approach. He crowds into her space as though it's something he's been doing for years.

"Noah," she questions.

"We're not friends, I lied. . .I want you. . .not _her_, just you for the rest of our lives, I think," he purrs.

"Noah if this is about yesterday," she starts and is attempting to navigate him out of her space. I see the apprehension in her eyes and the very surprising insecurity. She's thinks he doesn't mean it, she'll face down a man promising violence, but she's scared _he_ might not love her. But he reads her as well as I do and turns her surprisingly gently against the lockers and kisses her leisurely, but passionately.

"This is about you," he tells her taking away her fears. "And me," he grins. Then because he is still Puck, "Maybe a closet too if I'm lucky."

"Noah," she groans and hits him lightly across the arm. Then reaches up to continue the kiss. The man's arrival promised destruction, but seems to have led instead to rebirth.

He reaches down to take her hand and says only, "Come on, I'll walk you to class."

* * *

Later when everyone is shocked at their union, I stay silent. Realizing for maybe the first time in high school that it's not my story to tell. I can't however resist joining the bet for how long they'll last.

They think I'm crazy and off my game until the day we're all standing at the rehearsal dinner for their wedding five years later.

"You know dude, when you first got together we all bet on how long you'd stay together, " Finn is telling Puck, as he looks at Rachel somewhat longingly (his looks are never returned, in fact, after he broke up with Quinn and suggested she break up with Puck to be with him she rarely even speaks to him at all). Finn doesn't notice the tightening of Puck's jaw or the glare both because of his words and because of where his gaze lies (Rachel had barely been able to restrain him when she told him about Finn's proposition. She'd even placed Matt and Mike on Puck watch for a few weeks after. He waited till they were off and then recruited them to help him _intimidate _Finn without leaving marks Rachel would see).

"No one thought Kurt would win, when he said it,we could never figure out why he was so sure." Puck looks over at me and grins, and that day remains our little secret.

"Because she's mine, dude. And I'm hers. And no one else has ever mattered more."

* * *

AN: I kinda really like this one, hope you do too.


End file.
